Not the time of day. A movie, actually. As sometimes happens, when I am surfing channels early in the morning, I stop at a movie that I have never heard of, but nonetheless looks interesting for whatever reason. This morning it was a movie from 2007 called Evening.
A description from IMDb
"A drama exploring the romantic past and emotional present of Ann Grant and her daughters, Constance and Nina. As Ann lays dying, she remembers, and is moved to convey to her daughters, the defining moments in her life 50 years prior, when she was a young woman. Harris is the man Ann loves in the 1950s and never forgets."
This movie stars Vanessa Redgrave as Ann, Claire Danes as young Ann. Glenn Close and Meryl Streep in small parts. The late Natasha Richardson plays one of Ann's grown daughters as does Toni Colette.
The movie was difficult to watch as the older Ann lays dying. It brought back so many feelings. But what got to me was this woman as she is dying is remembering/reliving her life in the 1950's. When she was young, vibrant, finding love. As she is dying she is remembering her one true love in her life. Hers happened to 'get away' from her.
It got me to thinking. I wonder as my mom lay dying, was she back in happier days? Was she remembering/reliving them? I wondered just when that would be. And who was HER love of her life? Was it my dad? Or someone else? What was life like for her back then? Did she have something she was passionate about? Something she would have done or chose rather than being married and raising children? Was there someone/something she missed out on?
Mostly, though, I was thinking, I hope she WAS remembering the good stuff, the happy days....I hope she was visiting that place, with the love of her life!
The movie ends as the nurse tells the daughters they need to come now. (I remember so well.) But then it cuts to that place she was remembering, so beautiful. The sun sets. The movie ends.....
and I sob.
And that, my friends, is what is on my mind right now!