Friday, February 26, 2010


Good morning. Happy 20th birthday to dear son #3. wow. Seems like yesterday when he was born. I love sharing my birthday with him...Its a special connection. Yes, its my birthday. Normally as we get older we tend to not think they are so special or want to tell our ages. But that changed for me in 2002!
As many of you know, since you know me, that was the year the old me was put away forever. The new me began. With no say so on my part, obviously.
May 31st, 2002. "I have tough news for you."

Breast cancer. Age 44. Four young children...16, 14, 12 and my only daughter, only 10. I had lost many people in my life by that time, some far too young, including my father who died at age 36 when I was only 4. So I KNEW parents could die young, before their time, before they got to see their children grow up, before they met their grandchildren. There I was having to tell my young kids, it could be them. But I DIDN'T say anything like that when I told them. I knew I shattered their young world, knew that I took the safety rug right out from under them. I told them I would be okay. I felt it. I prayed for it. I prayed I would be here to see them all graduate...and in less than 3 months, the last one will be. I pray now I get to see them married and have kids of their own and that I get to meet those kids and enjoy them.

Birthdays. That is what I was talking about. But I can't talk about those without talking about that fateful call . That call and that year changed everything for me. It changed me physically. It changed my inside as well. I decided no matter what it was time to LIVE this life and I have tried to. I sing, I dance, I laugh, I love. And I have birthdays.

Today is #8. So I am going to celebrate like an 8 year old would. I am going to eat cake, sing Happy Birthday, laugh and have a great day!!

I hope you will join me.

That, my friends, is what is on my mind right now!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Family Pictures.

Hello. I have decided to take the plunge and join the blogging world. It is not that I haven't had anything to say before now, not at all. As anyone who knows me, knows I always have plenty to say about 'things'.

I am married and the mom of 4. All of the kids are grown up now. Time flies so fast. You have your kids and boom they are all over 18. My oldest is almost 24, the next one is 22, the third one will be 20 tomorrow and my youngest just turned 18.

I often think about family. It is the most important thing there is to me. I love looking at old pictures of family. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. It is great to remember the old times, to look at the faces of the people most dear to you. At the same time it is sad to see many of those faces that now only exist in those precious photographs.

I want you to look at your family. Is it typical? Are you able to have a family picture taken? Do you eat in the same room, at the same table? At Christmas time do you all sit together and open presents? Do you take family vacations? Do you go out to eat together?

If you do, do you know how lucky you are?

I don't have a typical family. My second child, my second son was born with a disability. A communication disorder. He didn't fit the criteria for autism, although many think that is what he has. At any rate, I could write a whole book on our 'adventures', if you will, and maybe some day, I will. Right now, I am talking about those family pictures.

We had one. Once. It wasn't easy. My son, since he was two has reacted to his dad's cough. For TWENTY years. When he was younger, he would throw himself down and sob, it bothered him so much. As the years progressed, he would react to others, including his older brother, and sometimes, even me.

The consequences on our family have been great. He will no longer sit at a table for dinner with them. He chooses to eat, alone, in his room. He will no longer come out and open presents with us at Christmas time, which breaks my heart, truly. For a long time, he would come out, and keep his ears plugged, now he won't even do that. We can never all be in the same vehicle, go out to eat together , take a vacation, or anything that typical families do. We do not have a current family picture.

So if you do have a typical family, consider how lucky you are!

I truly hope you have that family picture that you can treasure always. I do, as you can see
and it is our only one..but a newer one? I only wish that I did!

That, my friends is what is on my mind right now.