I know, you have already probably heard more than you want to on it. And frankly, I am quite surprised I am writing anything about it, too.
But! It is something, I am obviously aware of ALWAYS! Every day is breast cancer awareness day for me and so many others. More and more people I know are being diagnosed. It wears on my heart always, hearing of the struggles of others. Some have it so much harder than I did. Sometimes you feel guilty about that. There is a LOT of why me, why not me, why them, why anyone associated with a breast cancer diagnosis, and I imagine with any cancer diagnosis. The only thing I DO know of is MY journey. What it was like, what it still is. At my last doctor's visit she said to me now, that it has been 10 years, it is considered a part of my history. Maybe in a medical sense, and I hope it always remains in my HISTORY, but in my life, it will never ever be part of my history only.
I was talking to a good friend the other night, who is upon her ONE year anniversary. The worry, the struggles, the wondering, the unknown, they seem to be there whether it is a new diagnosis, it is one year out, five years out, or for me, ten years out.
Yes, I still worry. Every.single.day. I don't want to, I try not to. But it happens. I find, with being a survivor along with other things that have happened in my life, starting with losing my dad when I was 4, that I worry far too much. About just everything. I know that things can and do happen in life that can change your world. And many of those we have no control over. So why do we worry more? Because we know just that. We try not to, but it is something that happens...
So October is here once again, and now we will hear so much about breast cancer. Over and over..... IF it helps just one, if it encourages one to get a mammogram and that helps save a life, then the barrage of stories is more than worth it. I remember how very hard it was to hear so much at the beginning, I remember screaming at the tv that I did not want to hear anymore, that dear GOD, I live it every day, I don't want to be reminded even more.
I just hope in all the statistics, all the medical stories, everything we hear, that the media and even us, remember that every single diagnosis is someone.... and that someone is a daughter, sister, aunt, mother, grandmother, wife, friend. There are people behind all those stories...
and my wish, is of course, that they will figure this out and it will not be an issue for anyone in the future, that no one has to go through the diagnosis, the treatments. And the worry.
One more thing.....no matter how far from diagnosis we may be, it is still nice to know that people care, people remember, and that we are never alone!!!
Thanks to all who went on the journey with me so long ago, you can never know how much a call, a card, a hug can mean!
