Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Forgiveness. Again.

I was thinking about this again.  I read my old post on it.  Seems that was about forgiving those already gone.  Now I want to talk about forgiving those still here and in our lives.

It has been rough around here lately.  And its time for forgiveness.  Again. For me.  If I cannot forgive the hurt that I feel/have felt, then I don't see things getting any better.  I will tell you as we get older, you would think words and actions of others wouldn't hurt so much.  I wish the 'wisdom' we have acquired through the years would help with that. But I am here to tell you it is not the case. Words hurt.     
Sometimes a lot. 
So a little time has passed and I have to let it go and forgive.  This has caused me much sadness and tears. Much heartache. It has affected my relationship with another.  If I were to wait for apologies I think the forgiveness would never happen.  Is that my lesson this time?  Maybe so.  I just know this one has been tough. It isn't even just the words not taken back, but other things since.  I have to try to forgive.  Notice I didn't say forget...because I am not quite sure yet how to do that.  Oh, I would like to. Who wants to have someone say such things to you? I know not of anyone. So today, I have to forgive.  And that feeling of the load lightening, so to speak, that I felt the last time?  I am feeling that again.  Maybe to a lessor degree, but it is nice not to be so sad. There is an affirmation I need to be saying every day again. Funny how it helps.

Healthy am I. Happy am I. Holy am I.

Simple, no?

I hope I can be forgiven too.  For in all this, I know I hurt someone I love by the things I said when hurt and angry.  Words spoken in anger often are hurtful.  Exaggerations, I think, of what we feel. Maybe with the intention to hurt another so they can feel the hurt we do.  Wherever those words come from, it is a better idea to not say them. Walk away when angry. Walk away when hurt.  Maybe the conversation can be had later.  Preferably after the forgiveness.  

So there it is. 


Sometimes I think it is a daily thing to be practiced.  

And that, my friends, is what is on my mind right now.

1 comment:

  1. Forgiving my ex was the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the healthiest. Great blog, Joy!