Forgiveness. Again.

I was thinking about this again.  I read my old post on it.  Seems that was about forgiving those already gone.  Now I want to talk about forgiving those still here and in our lives.

It has been rough around here lately.  And its time for forgiveness.  Again. For me.  If I cannot forgive the hurt that I feel/have felt, then I don't see things getting any better.  I will tell you as we get older, you would think words and actions of others wouldn't hurt so much.  I wish the 'wisdom' we have acquired through the years would help with that. But I am here to tell you it is not the case. Words hurt.     

Sometimes a lot. 

So a little time has passed and I have to let it go and forgive.  This has caused me much sadness and tears. Much heartache. It has affected my relationship with another.  If I were to wait for apologies I think the forgiveness would never happen.  Is that my lesson this time?  Maybe so.  I just know this one has been tough. It isn't even just the words not taken back, but other things since.  I have to try to forgive.  Notice I didn't say forget...because I am not quite sure yet how to do that.  Oh, I would like to. Who wants to have someone say such things to you? I know not of anyone. So today, I have to forgive.  And that feeling of the load lightening, so to speak, that I felt the last time?  I am feeling that again.  Maybe to a lessor degree, but it is nice not to be so sad. There is an affirmation I need to be saying every day again. Funny how it helps.

Healthy am I. Happy am I. Holy am I.

Simple, no?

I hope I can be forgiven too.  For in all this, I know I hurt someone I love by the things I said when hurt and angry.  Words spoken in anger often are hurtful.  Exaggerations, I think, of what we feel. Maybe with the intention to hurt another so they can feel the hurt we do.  Wherever those words come from, it is a better idea to not say them. Walk away when angry. Walk away when hurt.  Maybe the conversation can be had later.  Preferably after the forgiveness.  

So there it is. 

Forgiveness. 

Sometimes I think it is a daily thing to be practiced.  

And that, my friends, is what is on my mind right now.