Just two days until Mother's Day. I was at Target the other day and noticed all these people standing by a pink section of cards. Took me a minute to realize it was the section for the cards for Mother's Day. There was a tug on my heart when it dawns on me that once again, I do not need to go to that section as the time for me buying cards for my mom had been done for awhile. I miss that. I miss her. Mind you, my mom and I did not have the closest of relationships. We really never talked about anything important when I was growing up and even when I was an adult. I could count on my fingers the times she said I love you for the most part of my life. That changed when I was diagnosed with cancer...then I heard it. It meant the world to me. I made sure I told her too. And I make sure I tell my kids. But then, I always always have. I knew it was important for them to hear it. I knew what it felt not too. I KNEW she loved me, in the only way she knew how...but even now, I wish there had been more. For those of you with close relationships with your mom, I hope you know how lucky you are! Hug your mom for me. Just because! I think of mine every day...I AM grateful for the mother I had. I love her with all my heart. And I miss her terribly. We talk about her often around here. I don't want to forget. I don't want my kids to.
I will celebrate the day because, of course I AM a mother....something I always wanted to be. I was blessed with four wonderful incredible kids. All of them are unique. All of them have their own talents. Each have such a different personality. I would like to think, of everything I have done in my life, this is the one thing I am most proud of. Being a mom. Of course, like most, I think back and wish there were things I did differently, things I did better. I can only hope I raised them okay. Better than okay. I hope that they will have wonderful lives. That they will be happy. That they will find their joy. Always...
And I hope they know how much I love them. How proud I am of them. Always.
May you all have a wonderful mother's day filled with love and good things!
And that is what is on my mind, right now.